"We're not in Kansas, anymore ToTo!"

Things are pretty crazy around here...we have finally dried out from the monsoons and woke up to cooler weather today. I'm finding it harder to stay awake as I've hit the 3rd trimester and we don't even act like we have a baby coming in 11 weeks or less! Oh my. It'll all work out! School, friends and the kids extra-curricular activities keep us in a constant state of motion and the days fly by. I had a priceless moment with Saddler a few days ago and want to share it.
I had spent the morning running all over town with the resident celebrity of the day-"Dorothy!" She strolled through Target as proud as she could be in full costume....The precious Target workers all stopped to chat with Dorothy and some even inquired about Toto. You would have thought she was Miss America on the red carpet with her smile and wave....all the way through the entire store. The best part (besides the fact that its September and she's in her Halloween costume) is that she was singing Christmas Carols the whole time at the top of her off key little lungs! "Glo-orrr-oo-orrr-orr-ree ya! In-an-ex-a-de-yo!"
How about that for seizing the day and living life to the fullest?! Thank you, Saddler-a.k.a Dorothy-for giving us all a lesson in finding Joy wherever we are. I love your passion for life! And your ruby red slippers too:)

"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." ~John 10:10

Windows

Night has fallen and it's silent in the house. No sounds of feet running up and down stairs, no little voices calling out the last "Mommy pleases" before their eyes succumb to sleep. No, not this evening. It's unusually quiet...only the hum from the ceiling fan and the rhythmic breathing of their slumber can be heard. There is something different about tonight...there is almost a sacredness hanging in the air....sweet and tender and so peaceful I almost afraid to move.

I am at loss on how to capture it with words...I don't know if it's something human language can explain. It's more a conversation of the heart. Tonight, they gave me the privilege of catching a glimpse into their little souls. I am basking in the awe of having had the opportunity to peek through a window into their hearts....And it feels, well, Holy. Perhaps, that's just what it is. God the Father- through the power of the Spirit- slowing my busy mind and hands down enough to not miss this moment. Sadly, this is rare for me. There's always so much to do and bedtime routines are just one more thing to check off my list before I can have some time to myself. Tonight was different for reasons known only to Him and I am thankful.

It happened at the conclusion of our nightly Bible reading. There were no flashes of lightening or rolls of thunder...just little hearts wanting to share and a mother willing to listen. Our story was from Matthew when Jesus tells us not to worry about what we will eat or drink or what we will wear...is our worth not far more than that of the little sparrows??? And so the question I asked to all of us was "what do you worry about?" They each thought, and then answered. Ellie worries about bad dreams. Jeremiah worries when we aren't back from a "date" until late that something has happened to us and police put us in jail. Saddler worries that a bad guy will shoot her daddy with a gun and he won't be able to get home to get his sword to fight back with. Silly. Disturbing. Comical. Sad. Those words came to mind as each voiced their fears....far fetched worries yet legitimate in their minds.

"Mommy worries too," I tell them. I watch their curious eyes search me -waiting for me to go on.

"I have a hard time not worrying. I don't want to worry...I want to trust God more and grow in not having any worries. But I worry. I worry about you-that you might get hurt or very sick. I worry about Daddy while he travels-and I always worry that I am not being a good enough mom to you guys or that one day, you won't love God!" Carefully yet deliberately I chose my words. Careful, so as to spare them the details of the horrific fears I battle with when it comes to the thought of losing them or my husband. Deliberate in the fact that they have the right to see a flawed, sinful mother who seeks to cling to the cross as best I know how.

Their sweet faces tilt, and take in my words with deep compassion...they understand. We share that common bond. And then Jeremiah, my seeker of wisdom, asks what I do when I worry? Easy to say, hard to do-I simply answered, "PRAY." That became a springboard which plunged us into a deep conversation of taking thoughts captive, replacing them with good thoughts, saying a favorite verse over and over, or thinking about whatever it is that brings joy...for those are the things of God. Weapons in our hands to do battle in the war against worry.......

Our time closed in family prayer and the sweetest recitation of scripture my ears have ever heard. We are memorizing Psalm 139 and together, their precious voices raised boldly to proclaim:

"O Lord. You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up. You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my paths and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, Behold, O Lord! You know it altogether. You hem me in behind and before and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me! It is high, I cannot attain it."

Kisses and hugs were given all around and quiet fell upon the house. It's too rich to explain. I know how poorly I am doing at this attempt. But it's just to special to overlook in a hurry to catch the latest news.

I sought my favorite commentary sight preceptaustin.org for more thoughts from those verses to meditate on. This is what I found:

"...And art acquainted with all my ways." Thou art familiar with all I do; nothing is concealed from thee, nor surprising to thee, nor misunderstood by thee. Our paths may be habitual or accidental, open or secret, but with them all the Most Holy One is well acquainted. This should fill us with awe, so that we sin not; with courage, so that we fear not; with delight, so that we mourn not. ~Charles Spurgeon

To think that the God of the universe knows me, created me, feeds/clothes/provides/plans my days out for me even before the beginning of time.... This deity,God, is the one I call Father. Tonight, I rest in the truth that I am known intimately by Him, hemmed in by Him, and laid down under His watchful eye with His Hand upon me. That is an amazing thought to me and I am so thankful. Thankful for His love and thankful for the unexpected gift of having been given a window with which to see my children's souls.

Gleaning Wisdom

A friend introduced me to a new blog I am growing to love. You can find it in my blog list titled "In all Honesty". The author is Jean-an Australian mother of four and she is a deep well of wisdom. I read something she wrote the other day that has really stuck with me. In her post, she sites Tim Chester's book, You Can Change, as turning her life upside down. She says: "Every time I feel anxious, overwhelmed, discouraged or guilty. When I am tempted to value the praise of others over the praise of God. Or every time I am tempted to put my hope in possessions, pleasure or relationships...every time I am tempted to prove myself through my perfectionism, I turn to the 4G's."
The 4G's are the highlight Tim Chester's book. They are so good, I have to pass them along.
1. God is Great...so we don't have to be in control.
2. God is Glorious....so we don't have to fear others.
3. God is Good...so we don't have to look to ourselves.
4. God is Gracious....so we don't have to prove ourselves.

Every single sin begins with believing a Lie. I love how the kids' Jesus StoryBook Bible explains the origin of the fall. It all began with a lie and we still are suckers for it today...

As soon as the snake saw his chance, he slithered silently up to Eve. "Does God really love you?" the serpent whispered. "If he does, why won't he let you eat the nice, delicious, juicy fruit? Poor you, perhaps God doesn't want you to be happy."
The snake's words hissed into her ears and sunk down deep in her heart, like poison.....
Eve picked the fruit and ate some. And Adam ate some, too.
And a terrible lie came into the world. It would never leave. It would live on in every human heart, whispering to every one of God's children: "God doesn't love me."
*************************************

How true this is for me! I sin, because I believe my happiness can be found elsewhere instead of running to the cross. I worry, because I don't trust His goodness, His character and His Sovereignty. And I fall into despair because I doubt He really loves me and believe the lie that I am an orphan instead of a child of the King. So much grief could be avoided if I will learn to recognize the voice of the lie and turn to the truth of the Gospel.....What a great weapon these 4G's are for me...If only my pregnancy brain can retain them:)

I am thankful for the wisdom gleaned from Jean @inallhonesty. Check it out!

That's My King

This is a clip from a sermon from the great late Pastor S.M. Lockridge. My dad showed it to me many years ago and this one has been updated to include scenes from Mel Gibson's movie The Passion of the Christ. The words and character of God are so powerful....truths I seem to forget so easily. This past Sunday, our Pastor challenged us with the thought or reminder that we are always always in the realm of the Spiritual supernatural only our eyes are too dull to see it. He sighted the scripture from 2 Kings 6 when Elisha was surrounded by a vast army of war horses and chariots from the king of Syria. Naturally, Elisha's people were afraid at what seemed to be their impending destruction. Elisha, however remained confident in the Lord's deliverance and urged them not to be afraid. Next, he prayed that the Lord would please open the eyes of his very worried servant that he may see. "So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

The supernatural army of God armed and ready to do battle on behalf of God's children. I don't know why, but that struck me. I have thought alot about that this week and one of my prayers has been that I would see God's hand in the mundane. After all, if we are constantly dwelling in the realm of the Spirit world....could He...could He possibly be present in my daily toils? The laundry, the diapering, the retrieving of legos from air vents and crayons stuck to a sticky floor. What purpose could my day possibly have that would be big enough to evoke the presence of God Almighty? I don't know. But I do know I experienced Him today in worship through the reminder of who He is in this S.M. Lockridge sermonette. May you watch it and be blessed as well.

That's My King~

Heather

Still Re-forming.

The first week of school has come and gone and we have adopted a new schedule. More than ever, I feel the need to bring order into our little army...to bring some sort of structure to their days. With the baby coming and the reality that I'm drowning in laundry & housework and the fact that my children needing the satisfaction that comes from a job well done, we are hard at work around here! One of my mentors and one of the wisest women I know, always says:

"If you give your children more than they have the capacity to appreciate, you have done them a great disservice." ~Barbara Barker

[Mrs. Barker is a Godly woman who has 3 children and multiple grandchildren who know and walk closely with the Lord. I admire her so very much. Her father taught her this principle and she passed it on to a few of us who met with her for accountability. I have it written on a chalkboard in my kitchen as a constant reminder not to over-indulge them.] Well, I am guilty of over-indulging them and of underestimating their capacity. The result is not pretty. It may not reveal itself in the form of tantrum throwing brats in the store, but it does manifest itself in a "deserving mentality" way of thinking. When you shuck it all down...the root issue is the same. Therefore, we've had to re-form, make some changes around here and turn this train around.

I say all this as a reminder to myself that my goal at the end of the day isn't a clean house, perfect kids, and all laundry done and in its proper place. No. In the role God has placed me, my goal at the end of the day is to have been the best steward of my husband, my children and my house as I can possibly be. And mostly, I fail miserably at that every single day. I get it all wrong. My priorities get switched, goals go unattained, and I end up frustrated and tired. I am short-changing my husband and I am missing it with my kids. I have been given these amazing, kind, funny, respectful and very loving kids. But I have blown it when it comes to teaching them work ethic and personal responsibility. I have nagged and barked at them about cleaning up-and doing "chores" and walked away exasperated- just baffled at why they don't listen and obey. But I can't blame them. Until now, mostly chores or helping around the house has been this nebulous theory that is never carried out or followed through consistently. So. Let me say it again. I have failed big time in this area and for a couple of reasons. One, neither my husband or I are naturally "structured" people. We like to go with the flow and will never turn down an opportunity that sounds more "fun". So we are not consistent and that is key with kids from what they tell me. Second, its so much easier to just do the task myself than take the time to train them...encouraging and guiding them throughout the day! When I do it, its guaranteed to be done quicker and neater. It's a pain to teach, prod, and correct. And last, I really think the biggest reason why nothing's worked for us yet is because we haven't had a plan. Finally, after doing the logical thing and seeking the Lord in prayer about how to best lead our family, I am thankful to say we have a plan!!!! So far, all 8 days of it have worked. Ha! I am seriously praying Prov. 16:3~"Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established." Truth be told, without supernatural intervention from the Spirit, this will flop tomorrow. But, for now, we are on a schedule and reaping benefits I never dreamed of. This is what our typical day (without ballet, gymnastics and soccer) looks like.

DAILY SCHEDULE

6:45-Wake up! Eat breakfast

7:00-Make beds. Brush teeth. Get dressed

7:40-Load up! Off to school

1:00- Snack. Homework. Chores.

****Quiet time (read.color.puzzles.craft)****

3:00-Outside time/ Creative play if weather is yuck

4:00-T.V./Wii

5:00-Get ready for supper

****JURISDICTIONS******

5:30ish-Supper and Family Devotion

6:30-Baths and Bedtime Stories

7:30-Prayer and Lights out

Along with each day, we have worked in a time for 3 distinct areas of work. The first is what we call their "responsibilities". These are the everyday expected jobs/activities they are required to do...the non-negotiables. Most of these involve hygiene and basic responsibilities. For example: making beds, brushing teeth, taking vitamins, bringing dirty clothes to laundry, making sure homework/snack/clothes are laid out for school next morning. The goal is to foster initiative and to teach them to take person responsibility.

The next area are their "chores". Each of them have a few age-appropriate jobs to do. Most of their chores do not have to be done daily, but more on an "as-needed" basis. They were decided corporately at a family meeting as we asked each of them what they thought they were good at when it came to helping around the house. (This got our youngest daughter very enthused.) Some examples of chores are; for Jeremiah-collecting trash and taking it out, watering plants, bringing in groceries. Ellie unloads dishwasher, keeps the art cabinet organized (a personal strength of hers) and entertains the baby while I cook. Saddler cleans bathroom sinks (her favorite), wipes off stools or chairs and helps to sort laundry.

The final thing and a surprise hit for us is what we call "Jurisdictions". I divided the house up into 3 major problem areas and each area is known as a jurisdiciton. Each child is assigned a different jurisdiction and they rotate daily. There is the Front Room (entry way and formal living/dining) If this is their designated area, they gather shoes that seem to land by the door, collect toys and random papers and vacuum all downstairs. (This sounds like alot but its the easiest of the jurisdictions....our floors are hardwoods and they like to use the central vac.) Next, there is the Den/Family Room. Here, jobs include gathering toys to the toy basket, making sure everyones stuff is laid out and ready for tomorrow (nothing more than a verbal reminder to each other-more for the sake of them getting used to looking out for each other) and making sure floor is clear and ready to be vacuumed. Last, there's the Playroom. This one is always a doozie as it seems to get demolished daily. But, they pick up toys, put away DVDs/Wii and pick up dress up clothes. With the jurisdictions, we set the rules right off the bat, that when you are assigned that "area", you own it. Whether you got that toy out or not, you pick it up....no matter if those are your shoes or not, put them in the designated spot, and it doesn't take nearly as long when you don't waste time complaining! This was the hardest to sell to them at first, but we've had a few surprise blessings. One, they are more aware of putting things up right away instead of stringing stuff all over the house. Two, they know it's pay now or pay later and what goes around, comes around...the whole Golden Rule principle. And third, it has fostered a sense of team work among them. It is precious to hear them encourage one another and be more thoughtful of their brother or sister. It has already happened where one jursidiciton may have nothing or very little to do and so they are encouraged to go "bless" someone else by pitching in and helping them. The kindness is reciprocated. It been a joy to reap the benefits. For example, today, no one had anything to really "do" because they'd done it little by little all throughout the day and they felt SO much Pride!!! Also, by sticking to this schedule, our family time has been so enriched. When "Dad" gets home, we are ready for playing and laughing and sharing because all work is done. It is so much more peaceful for all of us. Thank you, LORD!!!!

Does this sound nuts? -Yes. I laugh every time I walk by the refrigerator where it's all posted. What are the chances we'll stick to it, especially next week when we have 3 extra-curricular activities on 3 different days?-Ummm. Chances are r-e-a-l slim without the Lord's grace and intervention, but we will roll with it and adjust as the need arises. Has it been as blissful as it sounds?-H to the E to the "L" no! The first 3 days were brutal. But I stuck to my guns, prayed constantly for grace, gentle words, a calm demeanor, and to follow through with firm repercussions if they veered off course. And like I said, I am still amazed at how well it has gone. Children are so impressionable. They adapt easily...they are much more accepting and flexible than I am. SOOOOOOOOO, there you have it. Reformation. It's working for us. And not because I am smart enough to come up with this on my own, but because I believe the Lord was faithful to answer my desperate pleas for wisdom and help when it came to bringing order to our chaos. Tonight, I am tired, but thankful and ready for tomorrow.......................

Family Reform, part 1

Blame it on "nesting", call it a necessity in keeping the family ship afloat. But we are in the midst of a Reformation around here. I've had this crazy urge to plan. out. everything!!!! I am thankful for the desire as it has been an ongoing prayer that the Lord would give me wisdom, direction and order for this place, but this is beyond what I'd asked or imagined. Our evening meals are planned out from now to December. Ridiculous, huh. I am betting we will stick to this about 2 maybe 3 weeks max, but it sure sounds grand! So far, it's been sooo helpful to just have a plan. In my next post, I will share what we've come up with as far as a daily schedule and how we've divided chores. For tonight, here's what's for dinner this week!

Chicken spaghetti
Spinach and strawberry salad with Mandarin oranges and blue cheese
Banana Pudding

Chicken Stew with biscuits
Fresh fruit salad
(thanks, Courtney! This was so good, but whew, it wore me out. It's basically a chicken pot pie with homemade biscuits.)

Sloppy Joes
Baked beans and fresh veggies with ranch dip.
Grapes

Taco Soup w/blue tortillas and cheese
cookies

Blackened Chicken Alfredo
Asparagus
Garlic Bread

This has been a great money and time saver for our crew. All of these, with the exception of Barefoot Contessa's Chicken Stew w/biscuits were super fast and easy. I would LOVE to hear some favorite go-to's of your family and what works! Thanks!

High Heels and Milkers

I've said many times before that I feel like I go through my days in this funny paradigm I call the mommy dance. It consists of a two-part step of wanting to hold onto the precious days/times of my little people contrasted to wishing/hoping/praying for bedtime to HURRY UP! I am holding on with one hand and pushing them forward with the other. The time will go all to quickly...of that, I am painfully aware. In the meantime, I am poking through the day battling frustrations and impatience while snatching up sweet memories and pieces of hysterical conversations. One transpired tonight.
***Before I share it, let me give you some context. When I brought home our 3rd born, my oldest was three and the middle was 17 months. This made a breast pump a necessity. Upon the numerous questions, the best explanation Cord could give was that mom was busy "milking". (I know! So barbaric...as if I didn't feel enough like Bessie the cow.) HENCE, in my family, my girls came to refer to our female upper body parts as "milkers". Lovely, isn't it. Sorry-TMI.

Anyway. Tonight, Ellie was overheard sharing with Saddler that her "milkers" were getting bigger. (Yeah,right. She's the most petite 6yr old ever) Saddler encouraged the discovery by telling her they were soon gonna be like Mommy's. The next question caught me off guard:

"Momma. When am I gonna get a bra?" (what! I didn't even know she knew what one was, much less the name of it!)

"Well, when you get older and you need one, I guess."

"Like when I am in big school? Well, what about this teacher at my school. I don't think she gets to wear one because she doesn't have milkers even though she's grown up. I hope I'm not like that!"

"I'm sure she (insert name of teacher) wears one, Ellie, she's just very tiny and thin and maybe you don't see it. But. God has made your body beautiful and special and He will make it grow when it's time."

"Oh, so why do people wear bras who don't have milkers?"

"To protect a lady's chest and to be modest, I guess."

"I get it! Just like the air cushions that pop out of a car in a wreck, huh, momma?!"

"Sure. Now go to bed."

"Momma, answer one more question for me. When do I get to wear high heels? Not the sharp pointy ones like you have but "clip clops" with the strap like the 3rd graders have at church?"

"Oh, Ellie. You have the rest of your life to be a grown up and wear high heels and have milkers, but never again can you go back to being a little girl. Let's just enjoy being 6 for now. Can we read a bedtime story....?"

High heels and milkers today, no telling what it will be tomorrow. Slow down, clock! Let me enjoy them while I can!!!

Road Trips and Reality

The last days of summer have officially drawn to a close around here. I don't know where the time went...besides the fact I slept walked?? through most of it in a queasy pregnancy stupor. For the last "Hoo-rah", we took quick trip to Atlanta to celebrate Ellie turning 6. For her birthday, she got to choose between a party or going to the American Girl Store in Atlanta. Obviously, she chose the latter. What started out as a girls trip ended up as a family event. Cord, Jeremiah and Judson endured 3 painful hours in that place. Bless their hearts. In all seriousness, it was magical. We had the whole experience...dinner reservations in the Bistro, (complete with chairs for the dolls and pink muffins) a much needed trip to the "salon" (seriously, after the lice outbreak last year I nearly burnt those dolls up in the dryer....i also "treated" the doll hair JUST IN CASE...needless to say, it was money well-spent) and finally, an overnight stay in a hotel geared for American Girl visitors. Sounds fun, huh? It was-like I said-magical for a moment! Their little faces were priceless, their hearts-so appreciative, and their imaginations were in overdrive. We explored every inch of Northpoint mall, rode the carousel and played in the playground until we couldn't possibly play anymore. Then it was off to the hotel for the "icing on the cake" to the whole trip. The Marriott Residence inn has a package boasting of pink decor, special beds for the dolls and even cookies and milk at bedtime for all. We could hardly wait. I had arranged ahead of time for a 2 bedroom suite-adjoining rooms-we did have 4 small children in tow. Just to be safe, I didn't make reservations via Internet, but called the 1-800 number instead so I could speak to a real person and be able to rest assured all of my questions were answered and plans executed. It was just a perfect trip-even Jud did good.....until.

!!!!!!AHEM. Attention. Beware. Proceed with Caution!!!!!!

I heard something like this;"I'm sorry, mam. What did you say your name was? Can you spell that for me. Hmmm. Could your reservation be under any other name? Well. I see. OK. Well, we don't have record of your reservation and we are completely booked. I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?" (please tell me this is a cute little joke for the weary pregnant lady with all the kids) "I don't think I heard you right....I made reservations In Advance over the phone with a Live Person...and, I even gave him my credit card number to hold the room."

I could feel the panic welling up! And yep. It happened. I cried out of frustration and desperation. I proceeded to tell the poor clerk how far we'd driven, that we'd just spent 6 hours at a mall with 3 kids and a toddler and now we are exhausted and ready to crash and have no place to lay our head in the city. She felt really sorry for me. Or thought I might lose it and jump over the counter at any given minute. Thankfully, she made some phone calls and sent us several miles down the road to a step above a roach motel. Being the germaphobe I am, the large Lysol that stays in my car, was emptied in the room....all areas disinfected and the kids thought they were at the Ritz Carlton.

It worked out, but not as planned. (And to the donkey who has my credit card number and didn't do your job...I am praying my heart won't wish bad things for you! OHHH, I hate being taken advantage of.)

All in all, it was a great trip. The store was delightful, the mall was entertaining, and the hotel was fun for the kids. However just the time being together was worth every penny spent and inconvenience tolerated. Our kids had our hearts, our attention and our energy UNDIVIDED for 24 hours and that is a gift no money can buy. Unfortunately, it is extremly rare for them. I am so thankful for the time together and for the laughs along the way. I'll close with my top 3 favorite quotes.

1. Upon entering Atlanta, we passed the MARTA train station. The children thought it was 6 flags and begged to ride it.....we should really get them out more.

2. In the Disney store there was a giant stuffed "Dumbo" elephant. I pointed it out to Saddler who tilted her little head and in a very perplexed tone said, "HUH. And all this time I thought Gumbo was a food...."

3. On the way out we had to stop at a toll road. Peppered with questions about why all the cars stopped, why do you have to pay, etc., the best answer I could come up with was that in Georgia, you have to pay to drive down certain roads. Ellie replied so abruptly, "Well. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Well said. Well said.

What a blessing to be a mom...to have the opportunity to shape hearts and minds. I adore my family. I am blessed beyond measure and unworthy of every gift.......

We have a big week ahead! School begins! I'm sure there will be stories to tell....Until then, I'm counting my blessings~

Daily questions and comments

We've had a lot of funny comments lately about our expanding family. Most come from strangers in the grocery store or other public locations who laugh in pity as I parade our crew from one errand to another. A few weeks ago the car was due to be serviced. The sweet man at the Toyota dealership took a glance in the van at the empty car seats wondering where everyone was. (Apparently its quite a commotion to watch us change out 4 kids, car seats, bags, sippy cups and get settled into another car while the "grey goose" is serviced)He took one look at my belly and hollered-yes hollered-he's an older gentleman from Alabama-"WEll gaaahhh-leeee! You got another'n commin?!"


Here are some of my favorite questions and comments. I kid you not, I get a least one of these daily.


1.) Are you Catholic? Because my mother/sister/uncle/friend is and they have a whole lot of kids like you.


2.) Are you Mormon or something? (To both of these I respond-no. Just crazy christian. Presbyterian, to be exact.)



3.)Honey! Don't you know how that happens???



4.)And my personal favorite..."Are they ALL yours?" As if Anyone in their right mind would want to take extra kids to wal-mart just for the heck of it!

S.O.S.

OK, all my expert blogging friends. I really need help. What do I have to do to get my pictures to go where I want them and in the right direction? My mom is getting a cramp in her neck from always having to contort herself to see my sideways photos. And. Why in the world does it do it's own format thing??? Like leave all this blank space? H-E-L-P! Someone tutor me here before I embarrass myself further, lose my mind, or have to see my mother in a neck brace. Thanks a million:)

The Tutus

I have had a couple of questions regarding the tutus I made for Saddler's birthday party. You were so very sweet to inquire, so here is my attempt to re-post pics of the tutus and give you the super easy/super cute tutorial link I used! You can find great instructions at www.mommyblessings.com Look under the June 23 2009 for the no sew tutu. Hope this helps and I hope your little one enjoys them as much as mine did. Thanks again for asking! :)

Madness at McDonalds

Indoor playland!!!! Sounds fun, huh? NOPE. Not for me. These kinds of places are torture for a reforming germaphobe. Sometimes we end up there on desperate occasions. Last week was one of them. Let me recap my experience.



It was dreary outside and too hot to stay home. The air conditioner was broken. The natives were restless and I needed a coke. So we headed to Micky D's. It started off relatively smooth. My big kids have gotten good at knowing their "jobs" and sprang into action. Ellie held Jud's hand. Jeremiah carried food. Saddler gathered napkins and I fixed drinks. It was setting up to be a pretty successful outing. UNTIL. We entered the play area. As if the germs weren't enough of a party favor to take home, the noise in that place was deafening and my head was killing me. I sat and watched as all my little chicks played happily. They were exceptionally good that day. (Now at home, they fight like any siblings do, but in public they are a team and very protective of one another.) There was 1 family in particular that caught my attention. A brother and sister...all decked out in like pageant clothes and Sunday best, while mine were in their Target best! Ha! Although the pair was much younger, they kept taunting my kids but the mom didn't speak up so I kept quiet as well. (Maybe a good mother would've intervened but I decided it was good for my kids to learn to handle situations on their own.) She was busy polishing her Dolce&Gabana sunglasses and I was glancing at my blackberry when it all went down. Apparently, her kids blocked the the slide and wouldn't let my girls through. My girls continued to ask nicely if they could please get by- the little boy yelled something ugly at Ellie-the girl pushed baby Jud AND Bruiser had had enough! Yep-this is gonna get ugly, I thought as I laughed on the inside. That little girl shouldn't have gone there! Bruiser mowed over that kid yelling something about how nobody can hurt her baby brother or say mean stuff to her sister! Chaos ensued! (Someone should come up with a name for altercations like these for kids...its the age equivalent of a bar brawl!) "Great!" I thought... Now I have to apologize to Mrs. Dolce&Gabana and talk to her....and she's about as hospitable as her kids. We called for a truce and things settled a bit.
******deep sigh.******

Our conversation didn't start off great as she looked at me in a not-so-approving way and said. "Ugh.Just how many kids DO you have????" My flesh wanted to say like 12, but I smiled politely and answered her question. Am I surprised that a "gentle answer turned away wrath"? I preach it to my kids but got to practice it myself . She then asked if I was sure that I could handle another child. Again. I wanted to shoot back a smart remark but, praise God, His Spirit muzzled me and enabled me to again give her a gracious answer.

"You know," I said. "To be honest, no-I'm not sure I can handle another and on some days, I doubt my ability to handle the ones I've got. But I have a Heavenly Father who is so much bigger than me and He is the Rock I stand on when everything around me seems to fall apart."

She immediately softened and shared with me how she wished for more kids but her husband insisted on control/order/impeccable neatness at all times and kids just weren't conducive to that lifestyle. She had a ton of pressure on her. My heart felt compassion for her. Chunk the designer clothes and flawless appearance and she's just a mom trying to do the best she can... thrown and tossed about by the demands and expectations placed on her already weary shoulders. We talked for awhile about motherhood and how we should be a sisterhood yet sometimes act like "Mean Girls" all grown up. We talked about the promise in Prov 18:10 "The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe." I love the hidden gems in that verse. Name=God's character...the essence of who He is. Strong tower=a mighty haven;refuge; a hiding place. Safe=a sweet place of rest/a buffer from the storms of expectations and accusations...for there is No condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.



Yes, kids will be kids, but I learned a lot that day...like how being "real" might not look pretty or be packaged neatly, but it draws hearts together like nothing else. I learned that when I lay aside my pride and quit worrying about my image it is then that God is most Glorified. And most surprisingly of all, I learned that it was possible to experience peace and quietness in my soul...even in the midst of the madness at McDonald's. Thank you Jesus.

Top Ten Reasons Not to Eat Sunday Brunch at the Country Club.

Well. Live and learn. Our company graciously provides Cord with a membership to the new Inverness Country Club for the purpose of entertaining recruits and other influential business men. It is such a blessing to be able to go swimming and other such things, yet intimidating for me....I am NOT a country club kid and still feel a hair outta place. Especially today as we had our first dining experience in the luxurious new Clubhouse. Consider these, lessons learned!

1. white linen table clothes are not like paper ones you can color on.
2. mashed potatoes do convert into projectile objects. Duck quick.
3. bacon can be laced together like a daisy chain to become a necklace.
4. magic carrots. They don't actually disappear-they just fit nicely down a bishop dress and into Dora the Explorer panties for the sake of earning dessert.
5. glass plates. break. when dropped.
6. key lime pie doubles as hair gel.
7. prime rib cooked very rare will cause your girls to scream at the sight of "blood" and even gag.
8. heavily starched napkins ain't like Bounty-the "quicker picker upper"
9.the floor to ceiling faux waterfall is not a good place to wash your hands.
10. you are required to sign your name and member number so that everyone knows who the dreadful family was with all the kids.

Yep. I came home a very humble woman.

"Enjoy this! You know not if you pass this way again...."

"Enjoy this! You know not if you pass this way again!" The words of Ann Voscamp echo in my heart. A wise exhortation to a me, a mother, who seems caught somewhere in between wishing for bedtimes to come quickly and the haunting guilt of regret that time has again slipped into history-forever irretrievable.

I've thought of this phrase alot lately...with our fifth baby on the way. (I would have never dreamed 10 years ago-in the throes of infertility and loss-that I would ever say that!) But as crazy as this sounds, I have to remember to enjoy every minute of this journey. Though our knowledge is limited, we believe that this will be the last time my belly will swell with life. "...i know not if I pass this way again...."

This is my 9th, yes 9th, time to be pregnant. I surprised even myself with the nonchalant way I responded to the news of this little one. Gone was the elated fanfare...the creative "reveal"....the surprise phone calls to family and friends...the jubilant celebration. No. This time was different for several reasons. One, because it was a total and complete surprise, so the shock factor has to weigh in somewhere! Second, there was obvious joy in our hearts but sadness as well. Both of our siblings longed for children and here we go again. How we wished we could move the hand of God ourselves to grant them heart's desire... Yet He alone is wise. He alone is Good. He is not slow in keeping His promises....The final reason things were different with this baby was the ugly word FEAR. Four times over my womb has failed me....proving to be a cave of death instead of a haven for life. Four times over we have mourned the loss of our little babies and eagerly wait to hold them in Heaven. "Has not the Lord poured out His blessing upon you now?" you might ask. The answer is yes! A thousand times over. But a mother never forgets... not for a second. There will forever be part of my heart that is not here, but in Heaven. And so fear hung in the backdrop of our joy like a storm cloud on a sunny day.

So many times I'd wished blogs were around when I rode the "pregnancy roller coaster". In some old journals somewhere are scattered entries of the intense feeling of joy at the news I would be a mother, contrasted with deep anxiety as I awaited the countless test results. (Would my numbers be ok? Did my progesterone dip? More shots? In the stomach-yikes...in the butt-by my husband???? Have you lost your minds???) O the waiting game!!!

Yes. I so wish I'd done better at keeping up with my feelings and emotions this go around. (heck. I'm just trying to keep up with the 4 wild Indians I've got running around me at home!) However. I remember the first ultrasound a few months ago. Cord was in Texas and I was alone. ****The last time I was ever alone for an ultrasound was not a good outcome. I'd learned early on to study the look on the nurse's face if I couldn't see the screen. Their expression says it all. And on that day, several years ago, it said enough. The image that had been bright with promise just one week before was no longer...and the flickering little light of our baby was now gone...replaced with darkness and emptiness. Death had again entered.

And so, for me, (fast forward to this baby) being alone again for an ultrasound was unnerving. To make matters worse, I was taken to the very exam room where the events I just described had happened so many years ago. (Like I said, a mother never forgets.) And so I waited. On that really cold table. Alone with my thoughts, prayers, and my Father. I had begun reading The Ragamuffin Gospel and the book literally feel open to this page-242. It was then that the baby being knit together in my womb was forever engraved onto my heart. Listen to what it says:

"The great spiritual battle begins-and never ends-with the reclaiming of our choseness. Long before any human being saw us, WE ARE SEEN BY GOD'S LOVING EYES. Long before anyone heard us cry or laugh, WE ARE HEARD BY OUR GOD WHO IS ALL EARS FOR US. Long before any person spoke to us in this world, WE ARE SPOKEN TO BY THE VOICE OF ETERNAL LOVE. Our preciousness, uniqueness, and individuality are not given to us by those who meet us in clock-time--our brief chronological existence--but by the One who has chosen us with an everlasting love, a love that existed from all eternity and will last through all eternity."

--Henri J.M. Nouwen

I don't want to forget the profound significance those words had on me at that moment in time. I don't want to forget the way His Spirit seemed to fill every crevice of that room as if He were holding my hand as I watched and waited. I don't want to forget any piece of this story. ****

I went back to the doctor again today-a follow up visit from some complications they discovered with me (but that's another post for another day). The baby looked perfect! Every beat of that little heart was music to my ears and I pray it will beat hard and strong for Christ. I don't know what kind of story is being written by my Father for this little one, but I know that Jeremiah 29:11 is true-"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." And I also put my hope in Psalm 139:15-16 "My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days ordained for me before even one of them came to be."

No. I know not if I pass this way again....so I will chose to enjoy it! Word by word. Page by page. Chapter by chapter. Isn't it thrilling to be part of HIS-story. And by the way, in case you didn't gather by the picture...its a boy!!!! :)

"I'm Running Away...."

she said...in her matter of fact way. Unsure of what set her off, I continued making sandwiches as everyone changed out of church clothes and waited for lunch. Dressed in her tinkerbell night gown, she set out closing the back door as she left. "Mom! Ellie's running away. Tell her she can't do that!" Jeremiah. My ever cautious first born watches anxiously out the window.

Evidently, there had been a disagreement of sorts over an old straw hat the neighbors gave the girls. Saddler had it. Ellie wanted it. And so a struggled began. A few minutes later, the door opens. She's back.

"I came back to get a snack. That's all. Then, I'm running away. I don't want to be part of this family anymore."

Cord laughed under his breath as I nonchalantly told her we loved her and we would sure miss her! Again, she closed the door calmly behind her as Jeremiah protested. He was half concerned and indignant that we didn't stop her while half perplexed at the irrationality of his little sis. We watched her meander around the yard for a few minutes before she was back.

"I'm not coming back, just so you know. I came to get my flip flops." she stated.

Jeremiah attempts to reason with her..."Ellie. You can't run away. Where are you gonna go anyhow?"

"I'm going to Disney World and I will live with the princesses in their castle. You can come visit when you want to see me."

"Ellie. How are you even gonna get there?" Jeremiah asked.

"I am gonna walk. How else do you think I would get there, Jeremiah?"

"Ellie, you can't just walk to Disney world. Its too far and the police will get you for walking on the busy road!"

"Well then I'll walk in the grass between the busy roads" she replied confidently.

"Then how will you eat if you don't have any money? You can't go to disney world without any money. They won't let you in. It's very expensive, Ellie." (he thinks he's got her here.)

"Fine. Then I'll take the money I am gonna get for my birthday. Mom, can I have one hundred dollars for my birthday. I need it now!"

"Ellie. You are just like the boy in our Bible story last night! He asked his dad for his money early and he ran away and you know what happened to him? He had to eat pigs food."

Mom. Ellie's being just like the brother in the Prodigal Son. (and you, my well meaning child, are beginning to resemble the elder brother.)

She left again amongst Jeremiah's arguments, Saddler's laughs, and our well-wishes. But only briefly. She was back....

"This time I only returned for a cell phone, "she said as we all cracked up! She even giggled at the silliness of her request. She decided she'd stay after that, so long as she didn't have to talk or look at Saddler. Ohhhh my. Seriously. A cell phone??? That's a new one!

My Ellie is so much like me. I want to run away too. All the time. The lyrics of a song by Sarah McLachlan says it well:

Spend all your time waiting

for that second to chance

For a break that'll make it ok.

There's always some reason

to feel not good enough

and it's hard at the end of the day.

I need some distraction

Oh, beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

Let me be empty

Oh, and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight.....

Our pastor says it all the time-we are always looking for something to numb the pain. To drown out the monotony of life. Searching aimlessly for a way of escape . Something to dull the hurt and comfort the lonely places in our soul. We run to lots of different saviors....some are in the shape of a bottle, a pill, others in the form of something darker. And some even have pretty faces....relationships. Comfort. Shopping. Money. Identity. Success.... But there's only one place to really truly run away to. Only one Savior that can really ease the pain, grant purpose to life and comfort the soul. Jesus. I wish I didn't get so distracted when I'm running. I wish I always ran straight to Him. Sometimes, I tire from exhaustion and futility before I wind up in His arms. But oh how I pray that my steps will become quicker and more relentless in my pursuit of my Savior. And I pray that when my sweet children run away, they will learn to run straight to the cross.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:28-30

We've come a long way, baby!

7-4-09
We've had reason for much celebration during the last year or half of a year. Here is a look back....
Annual 4th of july celebration in Guntersville...nothing beats the Buck Island Bash and parade!

7-4-09
Family Portrait. My sweet sister and her husband David. My adorable nephew Tripp and all of our crew with "Milma". I couldn't love them more!

7-3-09

Jeremiah.
Can't believe that you-my first born baby -turned 8! For your actual birthday, we ate cake and you got to drive the boat across the lake to your favorite place to eat in Gville. The big party will be back home with all your boys at the Barons game!

6-04-09

Family beach trip with Honey and Papa, Sweety and Uncle Wes. Always a highlight!
Did I mention how much Jud hated the beach?? I tried all my hat tricks-blankets to sit on to keep sand off, lots of snacks, a wading pool just for him. Nope. Nothing worked. He hated it.

But oh the joy and wonder of discovering God's world throught the eyes of mischevious 18 month old. Judson, you were only still for aobut 3 seconds.

This takes my breath away. Am I looking at a glimpse of what you,my sweet Ellie, will look like at 13? Your fun loving social personality glows from the inside out.

Bruiser. They all say you are a spitting image of me, yet I do not see it. Free spirited and independent,
you were as happy as a clam as long as you had your "mermaids" in tow. Your fond affection for these mythical creatures keeps us all laughing.

Judson may have hated the beach but LOVED the pool! He couldn't get enough and he couldn't stand to be in a ring or life vest. He was determined to swim free and he did great! His mouth stayed wide open and full of his deep belly laugh!

Nightwalks on the beach with dad.....a highlight of vacation.

Ready for action! Jeremiah is the calm and the glue that holds the little people together. Always ready for adventure but constantly on look out for his sisters and brother. Look out ghost crabs! Here he comes!

5-17-09
Kindergarten graduation and the last day of first grade. Where did the year go? Didn't I just take this picture a few days ago....only they were inches smaller and had all their teeth. Suddenly time feels like its tumbling out of control. Can I freeze it for just a moment?

4=27=09
Our little ballerina. So proud to show off all of your new positions....you were unafraid and uninhibited at your recital-even instructing the teacher out loud in the middle of it for one last move you wanted to do. Ha! We are so very proud of your ambition!

4-26-09
We danced the year away....Ellie you were amazing in your routine. You even had a special little part! Your grace and elegance is evident even at 5 years old. How cute are you here with all your friends?

Easter
Easter. WE Froze! The wind coming off the lake during pictures was especially cold. This was the most decent shot we could get of the four of you. But you were sweet and thankful throughout the day as we celebrated our Savior!

March 2009
Booster or Bust! The only time you better ever wear a tatoo to school ;) You and Ellie were beside yourself with excitement. As your friends and school were fired up about the fundraiser, you 2 were fired up about the relationships you have with the Booster guys! Aren't they great? It was like a family reunion each day as they came to your classes. We love what God has entrusted to us (Booster) to use as a means of making a living and changing the world! CTW kids!

3-9-09
We celebrated 10 years! Wow! Ten years of marriage this march. Is it unrealistic to hope for 10 decades more??? Thank you, Cord, for showing me Christ through our "waltz" together. I love you. And, is it possible this trip was where our "souvenior" came from?

Feb. 2009
Does it get more redneck than this? Ever wondered how Southerners sled? We break out our rain gear and beach rafts and send our kids down the hill on a float! Ha! They loved it!!!!!

Jud, this wasn't your first rodeo. It snowed when you were only 3 weeks old. This time, however, you were old enough to enjoy it. You were fearless and enjoyed eatting it more than anything else!

Jeremiah looks more like a "where's waldo" book than a kid excited in our back yard. This was taken at the bottom of our yard where our property ends and the state park begins. I like to pretend its somewhere in the north pole.

Oh spring in the south! You never know what you're gonna get! Saddler decked out in rain gear, attempts a snow angel. BRRRRR!

How sweet were the looks on your little faces as you watched Miss Stephanie dance! This turned out to be such a fun birthday party! We celebrated a little late but at least we celebrated big! Saddler, you and your little friends were adorable in your tutus! What precious memories!

(somehow i just deleted these beautiful pics. oh well) It really was great!

Best party favors yet! These tutus were super easy to make and so cute! We let the girls pick one out as they came into the party and they didn't come off! Tons of fun!

We witnessed the beauty of love at the marriage of my grandaddy to our precious "miss Audrey" and we witnessed the beauty of covenantal love as our children were baptized...all in the same weekend. I will hold tightly to this day and the promise that He will be a God to me and my children and my children's children. How deep the Father's love for us!

Merry Christmas in July.? This would have been our Christmas card if I would have gotten around to getting one out. What a fun crazy 1/2 year this has been! You guys have grown and changed so much in these short months. Yes, there are days that cannot come to an end fast enough. But as I said earlier, the need and drive to hold onto the moments while I can is proving futile as you slip away little by little each day. You all are my treasures! And yes, there is plenty of room in my heart and in our home for our new baby brother or sister! Won't it be fun this Christmas???? We will offically have a hand-full.:)

**disclaimer**

I've had a lot to catch up on. My original intent for this blog was to be a scrapbook/journal of memories for my kids and to keep out of town family and friends caught up with our chaos. For some reason, I decided tonight would be the night for catch up. So. This was my attempt at a brief recap of our lives since Christmas. HA. Enjoy. Life is such an adventure!

Eph 3:16-20

An Inadequate Attempt

How in the world do I pay tribute to this person I call "mother"? The one who physically carried me for nine months...who delivered me alone in a New Orleans hospital one steamy June morning (long before dads were allowed in the room to aid and encourage and a thousand miles away from her own mother's reassuring words during what had to be a frightening time) How do I thank the one who cared for me, nurtured me, rocked me and taught me.? My real life heroine. I feel so inadequate.!

Mom. Just the mention of her name brings a sense of calm and a smile. She is our rock. Steady in her faith and convictions. Unwavering in her love for her Savior. Unapologetic in her love for her family. She is the epitome of a Godly wife. Patient. Thoughtful.Kind. Steadfast. Her speech seasoned with wisdom and full of His truth. For 33 years I have watched the storms of life wage war on her....they've come in all shapes and sizes. The challenges of being a Pastor's wife, frequent moves, debilitating headaches, and prodigal children. She's been a caregiver to her own mom, walked through the deep valley of death with her sister as she placed her son in The Father's hands, and again as they buried their own mother. She's stared evil square in the face and though they lost their church, their reputation, their name and endured tremendous betrayal from most of their friends, there is one thing she didn't lose.Her faith. As the storms blew the roots grew. Deeper and deeper they reached anchoring us all in the one thing we knew to be worthy of our trust... Christ, The Solid Rock.

Yes, she's taught me everything from my first word and how to use the potty, to how to navigate a broken heart and lots of precarious teenage moments.I can remember the first time in Jr. High school when I thought hey-my mom might know something after all....I was having a bad hair day. (oh my! did I have really bad hair days!) Anyway, fragile emotions and high strung I started to cry in front of her bathroom mirror. Words didn't need to be exchanged because she knew. She just knew. After seeing my frustration, she told me a quick story of her own and how she once felt the same way. I think I was shocked to find her human. We went for donuts and she checked me into school later that day. A seemingly unimportant moment marked a milestone in our relationship. Mother turned mentor turned friend.


No matter how old we get, nothing makes it better like Mom. Her touch comforted me, soothed me and has power still to soothe and calm me.Her joy and countenance steadied me on my wedding day as she beamed on the front row. Her touched comforted me as one, two , three, four babies went directly from my womb into Heaven's arms. And her presence strengthened me as I labored for 18 hours with my first born! Right there she stood, tirelessly encouraging, praying, sitting with me as my body wretched in pain. Only her cries of joy rivaled mine as that tiny baby drew his first breath! Yes, the sweet voice that calmed me so many years ago, still has the power to settle me today.

She is interested in all the uninteresting things about me! How I felt today, what we had for supper, did anyone do anything funny or what's the weather doing up there?.... And how can I pray for you? Do you need me to come up? My response is usually "no" but my heart always cries "yes"! Yes I need you! I will always need you, but no, you don't have to come.

Mom. Could God have given a greater gift to humanity than mothers? We went to watch the movie "Earth" this week. One thing struck me throughout the movie and that was the mothers. All animals, of course, but having the same goal to see their offspring live and thrive in the world. One particular part gripped my heart and painted a picture to what my mother has done for me. It was the hump back whale family. Mother retreating to calm tropical waters to birth and raise baby....denying self of food and other perks that come from being in community with the other whales...all for the sake of her baby. Once the baby was strong enough, they left the calm tropical waters for a long migration south to cold treacherous seas. During one scene a storm is at peak-winds raging and waters roaring, the whales float/swim very close to the top of the surface. Through the noise of the storm you hear and see the slapping of their mighty fins against the water. It looks maddening at first. Then the narrator explains that the storm drowns out the whale's calls to one another, so to avoid being lost or separated, they would slap the water to show they were there....He points out that even though the baby can't see the mother, she has learned to hear the mother's presence even over the storm and it calms her. Wow. My mom has courageously and faithfully taught me to listen to not her voice but a voice Greater than hers and though I cannot see Him, I know He is there-even in the storms-and His presence calms me.

No finer gift could be given than to be raised by my mom. To be taught the ways of the Cross at her feet and to follow her footsteps as she walked in faith through the storms. This is such an ugly, inadequate attempt to say thank you, Mom, this Mother's day- for just being you!. You are the most beautiful woman in the whole world to me, inside and out, and I am so very honored to be yours! I love you and wish you a Happy Day! Lots of hugs and sticky kisses from all the little people here! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A long line of Mothers

I come from a long line of mothers.....a blessing the Lord graciously bestowed upon me. I thought of her as I woke today....and missed her. The physical reminder I have of her lay sparkling on the counter...her diamond earrings. Representing 50 years of love, marriage and motherhood these studs now rest in my ears but her legacy rests forever in my heart. My mom's mother...I was her first grandchild and privileged to spend many years with her. I remember her sweet voice...always singing.She sang life and love into her world-into her prince and into her children. The stroke stole her voice before it stole her life but I can still hear it loud and clear in my heart. And her hands.(She was the best back scratcher in the world)! She always had beautiful hands....graceful yet etched deeply with life. Those hands taught me most of what I know now about how to navigate a kitchen....how to bake a chocalate pie, cat head biscuits with honey, layered cakes, casseroles, and to tirelessly serve my husband. Her hands taught me to cross-stitch at 8, sew a straight stitch and she constructed my ball gown for the Senoir dance. Her hands represent a life of love, loyalty, hard work and faith. Once, they were strong.firm.gentle. But in the end they trembled with pain and eventually became an awkward appendage that she struggled to move. The next time I see her hands, they will be healed. steady. pain-free. And beautiful as ever. For He makes all things new and I can almost hear her singing in Heaven.

The third grandchild, yet only girl, my Grandmother shaped my life in very different ways. She was and is a go-getter! The small town of Columbia, South Carolina was too weak to hold her. As a child of the Depression she believed in earning your keep. In a time when women were not valued for much more than domestic contributions, she set off to work in the Capitol of our Nation. An eye disease robbed her sight, yet had no power over her memory and she may be the best storyteller around !History books keep records of life changing events, yet she lived many of them. Stories come to life as she speaks about working the switchboard the day the Japanese invaded Pear Harbor, war rations, and nuclear fall out shelters. Her life has been a dance...and she loves to dance. One of my favorite stories is the one about her and her dance partner dancing in the basement of a segregated African American church. They learned their "moves" and her partner eventually went onto dance in New York the very dance he mastered with her in that basement. We all know that dance now as the "Jitter Bug". Yes, she loves to laugh and dance. And I hope she knows how closely I am watching. Feeble, yet still living alone at age 90, not a day goes by that she doesn't start her day literally on her weak knees. Faith in action. Dancing with Jesus. She teaches me what it looks like to be a prayer warrior. And what it looks like to laugh.

The Psalms talk about daughters being like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Pillars. A strong and vital role they play to support and uphold the palace. Beautifully carved as to adorn-decorate the place they stand. How thankful I am for the grandmothers....the Pillars...that shaped my mother's life and my father's life and who are still shaping my life and all the lives entrusted to me. A gift forever giving and touching and imprinting the world. May my life be worthy of the legacy they have left me with.

(Wow. It's been so long I don't know if I remember how to post!)

Just made some cute treats to send to school with the kids. In case you can't tell by the picture, they are little nests made out of rice crispie treats with jelly bean "eggs" inside. Very fun. Very cute!  Publix had buy one get one free cereal and Paula Deen had the picture in this months magazine. Thanks Publix and Paula! More blogging to come. Soon!

John 11:25

Happy Easter!

Cute Easter Treats

Conversations in Passing

My mind is still foggy as I am recovering from walking pnuemonia....but some funny comments have transpired around me as I'd lost my voice for a week. Saddler's loving it.

While Cord was out of town the other day, I made my way to McDonalds after dropping of the older kids at school. I realized as I sat in the drive thru with cars piled behind me that there was no way the sweet Mexican could hear me whispering through the speaker.

"Hurry, quick, Saddler! Unbuckle and come get in my lap and say everything I tell you LOUDLY."She eagerly clamored into the front with me.

"Say, one small coffee." (she whispers mimicking me.) Louder Saddler. "ONE SMALL COFFEE!" she yells.
"Cream and sugar?" we're asked in broken english. "OH YES! Cream and Sugar." she yells back. Will that be all? Say No loudly again my sweet girl....Now say one small coke please. "And a Coke!!!" she yells. "Please!" (the poor lady thinks she's the victim of a bad joke) Saddler then decides she wants pancakes and sausage. What the heck.

"Please pull around with money ready...." WAIT! Yells Saddler. I need something else.!

Ok. Say one hot cake with sausage. "Not cakes and not sausage." she yells. No no no. its "hotcakes" means pancakes. Say Hot cakes with sausage. "Pancakes with lots of sausage please" she's getting it now. The lady is so confused. It went down hill quick from here. No prompting. No warning. Next thing I know my child is yelling out: "and a yo-gret. and a cheeseburger. and a happy meal. and a chicken nuggets and french fries.....and...."

My feeble attempts to hush her didn't work. I shoved my hand over her mouth and wheeled around to the window. Only after she was buckled in, of course.

Saddler: "Mom. Is your sound broke? How come I can't hear you....when are you gonna find the "boice" you lost? I like it when you can't talk so I can get stuff at McDonalds. Can we get chick-fil-a for lunch?"

O Love that Will Not Let Me Go

It's been a long week. If I had a dollar for every time I've been thrown up on since Sunday, I'd take myself straight over to Rose's Nails and get the best spa pedicure money could buy. Unfortunately, the only thing I have to show from my week as a nurse/janitor are some really dry, raw hands from all the washing/ hand gel/ antibacterial soap, and disinfecting I've been doing. Obsessively. I seriously think you can smell the Lysol from the road in front of our house. We've officially burnt a hole right in the ozone above double oak lane. Sorry.

I am tired. My body and soul are tired. It's Valentine's week...the week we celebrate LOVE and I'm not feeling it. Sad. This is one of my favorite holidays and I have as much fun as the kids doing crafts, making goodies. Not so much this year. We opened the Sachs' Infirmary Sunday and it's been five straight days of throw up around here. I'm surprised my washer and dryer haven't blown up, though I did blow a fuse.

I've had a little extra time on my hands during midnight shifts with sick babies....spent lots of time of praying. Reflecting. Thinking of Valentine Days long past...My first known loves-my parents always sent me flowers all the way til my wedding day. Thanks mom and dad!

I thought of funny experiences like hiding from a boy in 9th grade because he'd bought me roses. HA! I didn't like him and in my awkward, young teen way, decided the best option was to hide. In the dark. On the floor of the balcony at First Baptist Church with my best friend Courtney. (Aren't some of your best memories of growing up forged alongside of your childhood friends? She was more a sister than friend...irreplaceable.) Anyway, sprawled on the dark cold floor was the quickest thing that came to our minds. I guess we figured if he couldn't find me-he couldn't give me roses and I would avoid the whole embarrassing situation. (It was disastrous. Another post for another time.)

I thought of sweet memories...my first V-day dating my husband. All he gave me was a card that said "I'm so glad you're My Best friend." Kidd you not! Not my idea of romance then, but really, it was a beautiful picture of love. It took great restraint for a man to bridle his affections for the woman he loved. He was ardent in his quest to hold me in highest esteem ....fiercely guarding my heart....He waited until he was certain God was leading him to marry me before he kissed me! His purity has been a most treasured gift to me. We've spent 10 more Valentine's together since then. I grow more enamored with him every day and still ever "so glad he's my best friend".

Fresh memories....I have 4 new loves, little valentines -if you will- that look just like my prince and I. They have taught me more about love than I thought possible, stretched me beyond my limits and enlarged my heart a billion times its size! A mother's love is a powerful thing.

But tonight, and these past several nights as Cord has been away and the children have been so sick, I am remembering constant, steadfast, unfailing LOVE. Not love the emotion but Love the Person. God the Father, who set out on His rescue mission for His children 100s of decades ago. And Jesus the Son who left His throne and all the Glory of Heaven to lay down His life for me. Love poured forth from His wounds~ the red blood covered me~ washing me that I may be whiter than snow........

SO. On this tired, sickly Valentine's evening, I rest content with the "loves" of my life and in THE LOVE that will never let me go. Thank you Father for unconditional love.

O love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer fuller be.

O light that foll'west all my way,
I yield my flick'ring torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.