"I'm Running Away...."

she said...in her matter of fact way. Unsure of what set her off, I continued making sandwiches as everyone changed out of church clothes and waited for lunch. Dressed in her tinkerbell night gown, she set out closing the back door as she left. "Mom! Ellie's running away. Tell her she can't do that!" Jeremiah. My ever cautious first born watches anxiously out the window.

Evidently, there had been a disagreement of sorts over an old straw hat the neighbors gave the girls. Saddler had it. Ellie wanted it. And so a struggled began. A few minutes later, the door opens. She's back.

"I came back to get a snack. That's all. Then, I'm running away. I don't want to be part of this family anymore."

Cord laughed under his breath as I nonchalantly told her we loved her and we would sure miss her! Again, she closed the door calmly behind her as Jeremiah protested. He was half concerned and indignant that we didn't stop her while half perplexed at the irrationality of his little sis. We watched her meander around the yard for a few minutes before she was back.

"I'm not coming back, just so you know. I came to get my flip flops." she stated.

Jeremiah attempts to reason with her..."Ellie. You can't run away. Where are you gonna go anyhow?"

"I'm going to Disney World and I will live with the princesses in their castle. You can come visit when you want to see me."

"Ellie. How are you even gonna get there?" Jeremiah asked.

"I am gonna walk. How else do you think I would get there, Jeremiah?"

"Ellie, you can't just walk to Disney world. Its too far and the police will get you for walking on the busy road!"

"Well then I'll walk in the grass between the busy roads" she replied confidently.

"Then how will you eat if you don't have any money? You can't go to disney world without any money. They won't let you in. It's very expensive, Ellie." (he thinks he's got her here.)

"Fine. Then I'll take the money I am gonna get for my birthday. Mom, can I have one hundred dollars for my birthday. I need it now!"

"Ellie. You are just like the boy in our Bible story last night! He asked his dad for his money early and he ran away and you know what happened to him? He had to eat pigs food."

Mom. Ellie's being just like the brother in the Prodigal Son. (and you, my well meaning child, are beginning to resemble the elder brother.)

She left again amongst Jeremiah's arguments, Saddler's laughs, and our well-wishes. But only briefly. She was back....

"This time I only returned for a cell phone, "she said as we all cracked up! She even giggled at the silliness of her request. She decided she'd stay after that, so long as she didn't have to talk or look at Saddler. Ohhhh my. Seriously. A cell phone??? That's a new one!

My Ellie is so much like me. I want to run away too. All the time. The lyrics of a song by Sarah McLachlan says it well:

Spend all your time waiting

for that second to chance

For a break that'll make it ok.

There's always some reason

to feel not good enough

and it's hard at the end of the day.

I need some distraction

Oh, beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

Let me be empty

Oh, and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight.....

Our pastor says it all the time-we are always looking for something to numb the pain. To drown out the monotony of life. Searching aimlessly for a way of escape . Something to dull the hurt and comfort the lonely places in our soul. We run to lots of different saviors....some are in the shape of a bottle, a pill, others in the form of something darker. And some even have pretty faces....relationships. Comfort. Shopping. Money. Identity. Success.... But there's only one place to really truly run away to. Only one Savior that can really ease the pain, grant purpose to life and comfort the soul. Jesus. I wish I didn't get so distracted when I'm running. I wish I always ran straight to Him. Sometimes, I tire from exhaustion and futility before I wind up in His arms. But oh how I pray that my steps will become quicker and more relentless in my pursuit of my Savior. And I pray that when my sweet children run away, they will learn to run straight to the cross.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:28-30