"We're not in Kansas, anymore ToTo!"

Things are pretty crazy around here...we have finally dried out from the monsoons and woke up to cooler weather today. I'm finding it harder to stay awake as I've hit the 3rd trimester and we don't even act like we have a baby coming in 11 weeks or less! Oh my. It'll all work out! School, friends and the kids extra-curricular activities keep us in a constant state of motion and the days fly by. I had a priceless moment with Saddler a few days ago and want to share it.
I had spent the morning running all over town with the resident celebrity of the day-"Dorothy!" She strolled through Target as proud as she could be in full costume....The precious Target workers all stopped to chat with Dorothy and some even inquired about Toto. You would have thought she was Miss America on the red carpet with her smile and wave....all the way through the entire store. The best part (besides the fact that its September and she's in her Halloween costume) is that she was singing Christmas Carols the whole time at the top of her off key little lungs! "Glo-orrr-oo-orrr-orr-ree ya! In-an-ex-a-de-yo!"
How about that for seizing the day and living life to the fullest?! Thank you, Saddler-a.k.a Dorothy-for giving us all a lesson in finding Joy wherever we are. I love your passion for life! And your ruby red slippers too:)

"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." ~John 10:10

Windows

Night has fallen and it's silent in the house. No sounds of feet running up and down stairs, no little voices calling out the last "Mommy pleases" before their eyes succumb to sleep. No, not this evening. It's unusually quiet...only the hum from the ceiling fan and the rhythmic breathing of their slumber can be heard. There is something different about tonight...there is almost a sacredness hanging in the air....sweet and tender and so peaceful I almost afraid to move.

I am at loss on how to capture it with words...I don't know if it's something human language can explain. It's more a conversation of the heart. Tonight, they gave me the privilege of catching a glimpse into their little souls. I am basking in the awe of having had the opportunity to peek through a window into their hearts....And it feels, well, Holy. Perhaps, that's just what it is. God the Father- through the power of the Spirit- slowing my busy mind and hands down enough to not miss this moment. Sadly, this is rare for me. There's always so much to do and bedtime routines are just one more thing to check off my list before I can have some time to myself. Tonight was different for reasons known only to Him and I am thankful.

It happened at the conclusion of our nightly Bible reading. There were no flashes of lightening or rolls of thunder...just little hearts wanting to share and a mother willing to listen. Our story was from Matthew when Jesus tells us not to worry about what we will eat or drink or what we will wear...is our worth not far more than that of the little sparrows??? And so the question I asked to all of us was "what do you worry about?" They each thought, and then answered. Ellie worries about bad dreams. Jeremiah worries when we aren't back from a "date" until late that something has happened to us and police put us in jail. Saddler worries that a bad guy will shoot her daddy with a gun and he won't be able to get home to get his sword to fight back with. Silly. Disturbing. Comical. Sad. Those words came to mind as each voiced their fears....far fetched worries yet legitimate in their minds.

"Mommy worries too," I tell them. I watch their curious eyes search me -waiting for me to go on.

"I have a hard time not worrying. I don't want to worry...I want to trust God more and grow in not having any worries. But I worry. I worry about you-that you might get hurt or very sick. I worry about Daddy while he travels-and I always worry that I am not being a good enough mom to you guys or that one day, you won't love God!" Carefully yet deliberately I chose my words. Careful, so as to spare them the details of the horrific fears I battle with when it comes to the thought of losing them or my husband. Deliberate in the fact that they have the right to see a flawed, sinful mother who seeks to cling to the cross as best I know how.

Their sweet faces tilt, and take in my words with deep compassion...they understand. We share that common bond. And then Jeremiah, my seeker of wisdom, asks what I do when I worry? Easy to say, hard to do-I simply answered, "PRAY." That became a springboard which plunged us into a deep conversation of taking thoughts captive, replacing them with good thoughts, saying a favorite verse over and over, or thinking about whatever it is that brings joy...for those are the things of God. Weapons in our hands to do battle in the war against worry.......

Our time closed in family prayer and the sweetest recitation of scripture my ears have ever heard. We are memorizing Psalm 139 and together, their precious voices raised boldly to proclaim:

"O Lord. You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up. You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my paths and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, Behold, O Lord! You know it altogether. You hem me in behind and before and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me! It is high, I cannot attain it."

Kisses and hugs were given all around and quiet fell upon the house. It's too rich to explain. I know how poorly I am doing at this attempt. But it's just to special to overlook in a hurry to catch the latest news.

I sought my favorite commentary sight preceptaustin.org for more thoughts from those verses to meditate on. This is what I found:

"...And art acquainted with all my ways." Thou art familiar with all I do; nothing is concealed from thee, nor surprising to thee, nor misunderstood by thee. Our paths may be habitual or accidental, open or secret, but with them all the Most Holy One is well acquainted. This should fill us with awe, so that we sin not; with courage, so that we fear not; with delight, so that we mourn not. ~Charles Spurgeon

To think that the God of the universe knows me, created me, feeds/clothes/provides/plans my days out for me even before the beginning of time.... This deity,God, is the one I call Father. Tonight, I rest in the truth that I am known intimately by Him, hemmed in by Him, and laid down under His watchful eye with His Hand upon me. That is an amazing thought to me and I am so thankful. Thankful for His love and thankful for the unexpected gift of having been given a window with which to see my children's souls.

Gleaning Wisdom

A friend introduced me to a new blog I am growing to love. You can find it in my blog list titled "In all Honesty". The author is Jean-an Australian mother of four and she is a deep well of wisdom. I read something she wrote the other day that has really stuck with me. In her post, she sites Tim Chester's book, You Can Change, as turning her life upside down. She says: "Every time I feel anxious, overwhelmed, discouraged or guilty. When I am tempted to value the praise of others over the praise of God. Or every time I am tempted to put my hope in possessions, pleasure or relationships...every time I am tempted to prove myself through my perfectionism, I turn to the 4G's."
The 4G's are the highlight Tim Chester's book. They are so good, I have to pass them along.
1. God is Great...so we don't have to be in control.
2. God is Glorious....so we don't have to fear others.
3. God is Good...so we don't have to look to ourselves.
4. God is Gracious....so we don't have to prove ourselves.

Every single sin begins with believing a Lie. I love how the kids' Jesus StoryBook Bible explains the origin of the fall. It all began with a lie and we still are suckers for it today...

As soon as the snake saw his chance, he slithered silently up to Eve. "Does God really love you?" the serpent whispered. "If he does, why won't he let you eat the nice, delicious, juicy fruit? Poor you, perhaps God doesn't want you to be happy."
The snake's words hissed into her ears and sunk down deep in her heart, like poison.....
Eve picked the fruit and ate some. And Adam ate some, too.
And a terrible lie came into the world. It would never leave. It would live on in every human heart, whispering to every one of God's children: "God doesn't love me."
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How true this is for me! I sin, because I believe my happiness can be found elsewhere instead of running to the cross. I worry, because I don't trust His goodness, His character and His Sovereignty. And I fall into despair because I doubt He really loves me and believe the lie that I am an orphan instead of a child of the King. So much grief could be avoided if I will learn to recognize the voice of the lie and turn to the truth of the Gospel.....What a great weapon these 4G's are for me...If only my pregnancy brain can retain them:)

I am thankful for the wisdom gleaned from Jean @inallhonesty. Check it out!