"I'm Running Away...."

she said...in her matter of fact way. Unsure of what set her off, I continued making sandwiches as everyone changed out of church clothes and waited for lunch. Dressed in her tinkerbell night gown, she set out closing the back door as she left. "Mom! Ellie's running away. Tell her she can't do that!" Jeremiah. My ever cautious first born watches anxiously out the window.

Evidently, there had been a disagreement of sorts over an old straw hat the neighbors gave the girls. Saddler had it. Ellie wanted it. And so a struggled began. A few minutes later, the door opens. She's back.

"I came back to get a snack. That's all. Then, I'm running away. I don't want to be part of this family anymore."

Cord laughed under his breath as I nonchalantly told her we loved her and we would sure miss her! Again, she closed the door calmly behind her as Jeremiah protested. He was half concerned and indignant that we didn't stop her while half perplexed at the irrationality of his little sis. We watched her meander around the yard for a few minutes before she was back.

"I'm not coming back, just so you know. I came to get my flip flops." she stated.

Jeremiah attempts to reason with her..."Ellie. You can't run away. Where are you gonna go anyhow?"

"I'm going to Disney World and I will live with the princesses in their castle. You can come visit when you want to see me."

"Ellie. How are you even gonna get there?" Jeremiah asked.

"I am gonna walk. How else do you think I would get there, Jeremiah?"

"Ellie, you can't just walk to Disney world. Its too far and the police will get you for walking on the busy road!"

"Well then I'll walk in the grass between the busy roads" she replied confidently.

"Then how will you eat if you don't have any money? You can't go to disney world without any money. They won't let you in. It's very expensive, Ellie." (he thinks he's got her here.)

"Fine. Then I'll take the money I am gonna get for my birthday. Mom, can I have one hundred dollars for my birthday. I need it now!"

"Ellie. You are just like the boy in our Bible story last night! He asked his dad for his money early and he ran away and you know what happened to him? He had to eat pigs food."

Mom. Ellie's being just like the brother in the Prodigal Son. (and you, my well meaning child, are beginning to resemble the elder brother.)

She left again amongst Jeremiah's arguments, Saddler's laughs, and our well-wishes. But only briefly. She was back....

"This time I only returned for a cell phone, "she said as we all cracked up! She even giggled at the silliness of her request. She decided she'd stay after that, so long as she didn't have to talk or look at Saddler. Ohhhh my. Seriously. A cell phone??? That's a new one!

My Ellie is so much like me. I want to run away too. All the time. The lyrics of a song by Sarah McLachlan says it well:

Spend all your time waiting

for that second to chance

For a break that'll make it ok.

There's always some reason

to feel not good enough

and it's hard at the end of the day.

I need some distraction

Oh, beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

Let me be empty

Oh, and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight.....

Our pastor says it all the time-we are always looking for something to numb the pain. To drown out the monotony of life. Searching aimlessly for a way of escape . Something to dull the hurt and comfort the lonely places in our soul. We run to lots of different saviors....some are in the shape of a bottle, a pill, others in the form of something darker. And some even have pretty faces....relationships. Comfort. Shopping. Money. Identity. Success.... But there's only one place to really truly run away to. Only one Savior that can really ease the pain, grant purpose to life and comfort the soul. Jesus. I wish I didn't get so distracted when I'm running. I wish I always ran straight to Him. Sometimes, I tire from exhaustion and futility before I wind up in His arms. But oh how I pray that my steps will become quicker and more relentless in my pursuit of my Savior. And I pray that when my sweet children run away, they will learn to run straight to the cross.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:28-30

We've come a long way, baby!

7-4-09
We've had reason for much celebration during the last year or half of a year. Here is a look back....
Annual 4th of july celebration in Guntersville...nothing beats the Buck Island Bash and parade!

7-4-09
Family Portrait. My sweet sister and her husband David. My adorable nephew Tripp and all of our crew with "Milma". I couldn't love them more!

7-3-09

Jeremiah.
Can't believe that you-my first born baby -turned 8! For your actual birthday, we ate cake and you got to drive the boat across the lake to your favorite place to eat in Gville. The big party will be back home with all your boys at the Barons game!

6-04-09

Family beach trip with Honey and Papa, Sweety and Uncle Wes. Always a highlight!
Did I mention how much Jud hated the beach?? I tried all my hat tricks-blankets to sit on to keep sand off, lots of snacks, a wading pool just for him. Nope. Nothing worked. He hated it.

But oh the joy and wonder of discovering God's world throught the eyes of mischevious 18 month old. Judson, you were only still for aobut 3 seconds.

This takes my breath away. Am I looking at a glimpse of what you,my sweet Ellie, will look like at 13? Your fun loving social personality glows from the inside out.

Bruiser. They all say you are a spitting image of me, yet I do not see it. Free spirited and independent,
you were as happy as a clam as long as you had your "mermaids" in tow. Your fond affection for these mythical creatures keeps us all laughing.

Judson may have hated the beach but LOVED the pool! He couldn't get enough and he couldn't stand to be in a ring or life vest. He was determined to swim free and he did great! His mouth stayed wide open and full of his deep belly laugh!

Nightwalks on the beach with dad.....a highlight of vacation.

Ready for action! Jeremiah is the calm and the glue that holds the little people together. Always ready for adventure but constantly on look out for his sisters and brother. Look out ghost crabs! Here he comes!

5-17-09
Kindergarten graduation and the last day of first grade. Where did the year go? Didn't I just take this picture a few days ago....only they were inches smaller and had all their teeth. Suddenly time feels like its tumbling out of control. Can I freeze it for just a moment?

4=27=09
Our little ballerina. So proud to show off all of your new positions....you were unafraid and uninhibited at your recital-even instructing the teacher out loud in the middle of it for one last move you wanted to do. Ha! We are so very proud of your ambition!

4-26-09
We danced the year away....Ellie you were amazing in your routine. You even had a special little part! Your grace and elegance is evident even at 5 years old. How cute are you here with all your friends?

Easter
Easter. WE Froze! The wind coming off the lake during pictures was especially cold. This was the most decent shot we could get of the four of you. But you were sweet and thankful throughout the day as we celebrated our Savior!

March 2009
Booster or Bust! The only time you better ever wear a tatoo to school ;) You and Ellie were beside yourself with excitement. As your friends and school were fired up about the fundraiser, you 2 were fired up about the relationships you have with the Booster guys! Aren't they great? It was like a family reunion each day as they came to your classes. We love what God has entrusted to us (Booster) to use as a means of making a living and changing the world! CTW kids!

3-9-09
We celebrated 10 years! Wow! Ten years of marriage this march. Is it unrealistic to hope for 10 decades more??? Thank you, Cord, for showing me Christ through our "waltz" together. I love you. And, is it possible this trip was where our "souvenior" came from?

Feb. 2009
Does it get more redneck than this? Ever wondered how Southerners sled? We break out our rain gear and beach rafts and send our kids down the hill on a float! Ha! They loved it!!!!!

Jud, this wasn't your first rodeo. It snowed when you were only 3 weeks old. This time, however, you were old enough to enjoy it. You were fearless and enjoyed eatting it more than anything else!

Jeremiah looks more like a "where's waldo" book than a kid excited in our back yard. This was taken at the bottom of our yard where our property ends and the state park begins. I like to pretend its somewhere in the north pole.

Oh spring in the south! You never know what you're gonna get! Saddler decked out in rain gear, attempts a snow angel. BRRRRR!

How sweet were the looks on your little faces as you watched Miss Stephanie dance! This turned out to be such a fun birthday party! We celebrated a little late but at least we celebrated big! Saddler, you and your little friends were adorable in your tutus! What precious memories!

(somehow i just deleted these beautiful pics. oh well) It really was great!

Best party favors yet! These tutus were super easy to make and so cute! We let the girls pick one out as they came into the party and they didn't come off! Tons of fun!

We witnessed the beauty of love at the marriage of my grandaddy to our precious "miss Audrey" and we witnessed the beauty of covenantal love as our children were baptized...all in the same weekend. I will hold tightly to this day and the promise that He will be a God to me and my children and my children's children. How deep the Father's love for us!

Merry Christmas in July.? This would have been our Christmas card if I would have gotten around to getting one out. What a fun crazy 1/2 year this has been! You guys have grown and changed so much in these short months. Yes, there are days that cannot come to an end fast enough. But as I said earlier, the need and drive to hold onto the moments while I can is proving futile as you slip away little by little each day. You all are my treasures! And yes, there is plenty of room in my heart and in our home for our new baby brother or sister! Won't it be fun this Christmas???? We will offically have a hand-full.:)

**disclaimer**

I've had a lot to catch up on. My original intent for this blog was to be a scrapbook/journal of memories for my kids and to keep out of town family and friends caught up with our chaos. For some reason, I decided tonight would be the night for catch up. So. This was my attempt at a brief recap of our lives since Christmas. HA. Enjoy. Life is such an adventure!

Eph 3:16-20

An Inadequate Attempt

How in the world do I pay tribute to this person I call "mother"? The one who physically carried me for nine months...who delivered me alone in a New Orleans hospital one steamy June morning (long before dads were allowed in the room to aid and encourage and a thousand miles away from her own mother's reassuring words during what had to be a frightening time) How do I thank the one who cared for me, nurtured me, rocked me and taught me.? My real life heroine. I feel so inadequate.!

Mom. Just the mention of her name brings a sense of calm and a smile. She is our rock. Steady in her faith and convictions. Unwavering in her love for her Savior. Unapologetic in her love for her family. She is the epitome of a Godly wife. Patient. Thoughtful.Kind. Steadfast. Her speech seasoned with wisdom and full of His truth. For 33 years I have watched the storms of life wage war on her....they've come in all shapes and sizes. The challenges of being a Pastor's wife, frequent moves, debilitating headaches, and prodigal children. She's been a caregiver to her own mom, walked through the deep valley of death with her sister as she placed her son in The Father's hands, and again as they buried their own mother. She's stared evil square in the face and though they lost their church, their reputation, their name and endured tremendous betrayal from most of their friends, there is one thing she didn't lose.Her faith. As the storms blew the roots grew. Deeper and deeper they reached anchoring us all in the one thing we knew to be worthy of our trust... Christ, The Solid Rock.

Yes, she's taught me everything from my first word and how to use the potty, to how to navigate a broken heart and lots of precarious teenage moments.I can remember the first time in Jr. High school when I thought hey-my mom might know something after all....I was having a bad hair day. (oh my! did I have really bad hair days!) Anyway, fragile emotions and high strung I started to cry in front of her bathroom mirror. Words didn't need to be exchanged because she knew. She just knew. After seeing my frustration, she told me a quick story of her own and how she once felt the same way. I think I was shocked to find her human. We went for donuts and she checked me into school later that day. A seemingly unimportant moment marked a milestone in our relationship. Mother turned mentor turned friend.


No matter how old we get, nothing makes it better like Mom. Her touch comforted me, soothed me and has power still to soothe and calm me.Her joy and countenance steadied me on my wedding day as she beamed on the front row. Her touched comforted me as one, two , three, four babies went directly from my womb into Heaven's arms. And her presence strengthened me as I labored for 18 hours with my first born! Right there she stood, tirelessly encouraging, praying, sitting with me as my body wretched in pain. Only her cries of joy rivaled mine as that tiny baby drew his first breath! Yes, the sweet voice that calmed me so many years ago, still has the power to settle me today.

She is interested in all the uninteresting things about me! How I felt today, what we had for supper, did anyone do anything funny or what's the weather doing up there?.... And how can I pray for you? Do you need me to come up? My response is usually "no" but my heart always cries "yes"! Yes I need you! I will always need you, but no, you don't have to come.

Mom. Could God have given a greater gift to humanity than mothers? We went to watch the movie "Earth" this week. One thing struck me throughout the movie and that was the mothers. All animals, of course, but having the same goal to see their offspring live and thrive in the world. One particular part gripped my heart and painted a picture to what my mother has done for me. It was the hump back whale family. Mother retreating to calm tropical waters to birth and raise baby....denying self of food and other perks that come from being in community with the other whales...all for the sake of her baby. Once the baby was strong enough, they left the calm tropical waters for a long migration south to cold treacherous seas. During one scene a storm is at peak-winds raging and waters roaring, the whales float/swim very close to the top of the surface. Through the noise of the storm you hear and see the slapping of their mighty fins against the water. It looks maddening at first. Then the narrator explains that the storm drowns out the whale's calls to one another, so to avoid being lost or separated, they would slap the water to show they were there....He points out that even though the baby can't see the mother, she has learned to hear the mother's presence even over the storm and it calms her. Wow. My mom has courageously and faithfully taught me to listen to not her voice but a voice Greater than hers and though I cannot see Him, I know He is there-even in the storms-and His presence calms me.

No finer gift could be given than to be raised by my mom. To be taught the ways of the Cross at her feet and to follow her footsteps as she walked in faith through the storms. This is such an ugly, inadequate attempt to say thank you, Mom, this Mother's day- for just being you!. You are the most beautiful woman in the whole world to me, inside and out, and I am so very honored to be yours! I love you and wish you a Happy Day! Lots of hugs and sticky kisses from all the little people here! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A long line of Mothers

I come from a long line of mothers.....a blessing the Lord graciously bestowed upon me. I thought of her as I woke today....and missed her. The physical reminder I have of her lay sparkling on the counter...her diamond earrings. Representing 50 years of love, marriage and motherhood these studs now rest in my ears but her legacy rests forever in my heart. My mom's mother...I was her first grandchild and privileged to spend many years with her. I remember her sweet voice...always singing.She sang life and love into her world-into her prince and into her children. The stroke stole her voice before it stole her life but I can still hear it loud and clear in my heart. And her hands.(She was the best back scratcher in the world)! She always had beautiful hands....graceful yet etched deeply with life. Those hands taught me most of what I know now about how to navigate a kitchen....how to bake a chocalate pie, cat head biscuits with honey, layered cakes, casseroles, and to tirelessly serve my husband. Her hands taught me to cross-stitch at 8, sew a straight stitch and she constructed my ball gown for the Senoir dance. Her hands represent a life of love, loyalty, hard work and faith. Once, they were strong.firm.gentle. But in the end they trembled with pain and eventually became an awkward appendage that she struggled to move. The next time I see her hands, they will be healed. steady. pain-free. And beautiful as ever. For He makes all things new and I can almost hear her singing in Heaven.

The third grandchild, yet only girl, my Grandmother shaped my life in very different ways. She was and is a go-getter! The small town of Columbia, South Carolina was too weak to hold her. As a child of the Depression she believed in earning your keep. In a time when women were not valued for much more than domestic contributions, she set off to work in the Capitol of our Nation. An eye disease robbed her sight, yet had no power over her memory and she may be the best storyteller around !History books keep records of life changing events, yet she lived many of them. Stories come to life as she speaks about working the switchboard the day the Japanese invaded Pear Harbor, war rations, and nuclear fall out shelters. Her life has been a dance...and she loves to dance. One of my favorite stories is the one about her and her dance partner dancing in the basement of a segregated African American church. They learned their "moves" and her partner eventually went onto dance in New York the very dance he mastered with her in that basement. We all know that dance now as the "Jitter Bug". Yes, she loves to laugh and dance. And I hope she knows how closely I am watching. Feeble, yet still living alone at age 90, not a day goes by that she doesn't start her day literally on her weak knees. Faith in action. Dancing with Jesus. She teaches me what it looks like to be a prayer warrior. And what it looks like to laugh.

The Psalms talk about daughters being like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Pillars. A strong and vital role they play to support and uphold the palace. Beautifully carved as to adorn-decorate the place they stand. How thankful I am for the grandmothers....the Pillars...that shaped my mother's life and my father's life and who are still shaping my life and all the lives entrusted to me. A gift forever giving and touching and imprinting the world. May my life be worthy of the legacy they have left me with.

(Wow. It's been so long I don't know if I remember how to post!)

Just made some cute treats to send to school with the kids. In case you can't tell by the picture, they are little nests made out of rice crispie treats with jelly bean "eggs" inside. Very fun. Very cute!  Publix had buy one get one free cereal and Paula Deen had the picture in this months magazine. Thanks Publix and Paula! More blogging to come. Soon!

John 11:25

Happy Easter!

Cute Easter Treats

Conversations in Passing

My mind is still foggy as I am recovering from walking pnuemonia....but some funny comments have transpired around me as I'd lost my voice for a week. Saddler's loving it.

While Cord was out of town the other day, I made my way to McDonalds after dropping of the older kids at school. I realized as I sat in the drive thru with cars piled behind me that there was no way the sweet Mexican could hear me whispering through the speaker.

"Hurry, quick, Saddler! Unbuckle and come get in my lap and say everything I tell you LOUDLY."She eagerly clamored into the front with me.

"Say, one small coffee." (she whispers mimicking me.) Louder Saddler. "ONE SMALL COFFEE!" she yells.
"Cream and sugar?" we're asked in broken english. "OH YES! Cream and Sugar." she yells back. Will that be all? Say No loudly again my sweet girl....Now say one small coke please. "And a Coke!!!" she yells. "Please!" (the poor lady thinks she's the victim of a bad joke) Saddler then decides she wants pancakes and sausage. What the heck.

"Please pull around with money ready...." WAIT! Yells Saddler. I need something else.!

Ok. Say one hot cake with sausage. "Not cakes and not sausage." she yells. No no no. its "hotcakes" means pancakes. Say Hot cakes with sausage. "Pancakes with lots of sausage please" she's getting it now. The lady is so confused. It went down hill quick from here. No prompting. No warning. Next thing I know my child is yelling out: "and a yo-gret. and a cheeseburger. and a happy meal. and a chicken nuggets and french fries.....and...."

My feeble attempts to hush her didn't work. I shoved my hand over her mouth and wheeled around to the window. Only after she was buckled in, of course.

Saddler: "Mom. Is your sound broke? How come I can't hear you....when are you gonna find the "boice" you lost? I like it when you can't talk so I can get stuff at McDonalds. Can we get chick-fil-a for lunch?"