The Only Mother's Day Present I Ever Really Wanted Was To Be One...

And I got it. Five times over. (Nine, if you count my babies born straight into the arms of God.) This Mother's Day was different from the other eight I've celebrated for one reason. Perspective. I found something the other day that stopped me in my tracks. Amidst picking up the children's story books and stacking them on the hearth for what had to be the gazillionth time, an old journal tumbled out of the basket. The only entry was dated January 11, 2007. The ink on the paper was smudged with tears as I penned my grief over the loss of my "Granny" On and on I lamented over lost opportunities to glean from her wisdom, to ask her a question about sewing or even see her bounce my little ones on her knee. But one thing tightened my throat and stole my breath. The words read:

"Since she's been gone, I keep trying hard to remember conversations I had with her~things she taught me, the cooking, the sewing, the love for reading. One thing stands out in my mind clear as day- just after Jeremiah was born. I can still her her voice.Having had a stillborn herself, she knew the pain of miscarriage and the intense longing I'd had for a child. It was the weekend of Wes and Nicole's wedding...I was nursing Jeremiah and she was sitting right beside me on the hotel bed~smiling that beautiful smile and just marveling at the newborn babe in my arms. "I'm so glad you got your baby" ~And she was so happy for me. So very happy."

I read and re-read the entry. Tears rolling down my face and my heart full of thanksgiving for the legacy of mothers I have. I closed my journal and opened my heart. Opened my heart to embrace the trials and travails of this short, sweet season in my life. To look at this day as a Holy privilege and be thankful for each life the Lord has entrusted us with. To look past the sharpie on the wall, that new tube of lipstick now ruined, the mounds of laundry and dishes...To stop thinking of how many times a day I say the same thing over and over,  how they keep me from completing a task or my gosh-will bedtime ever come?! Today. Just for today, I resolved to soak up the moments to memorize the monotony, and to be thankful.

 That sounds really good, huh. Idealistic. It won't last...but today I'll celebrate this little victory. Of course Mother's Day couldn't be complete without lots of tears, attitude adjustments and a toilet clogged with a matchbox car wedged so tightly that the whole throne had to be dismantled. Ha! Just another day in the life that I love.

What a great day its been remembering the privilege of motherhood. Church was incredible-we had Communion (my favorite thing) then went for Thai food at the kids request. And I got the best gifts ever- An apron I've been wishing for from Anthropologie and a painting. What a sweet day.

Thank you, Father, for making all my dreams come true.