Fourth, but not forgotten!

Happy Birthday Baby Jud!
My dear sweet fourth-born, how you have stolen the hearts out of all of our chests! Your smile lights up the room and brings joy to every face in our family. I know, I know. Everyone says that about their child. But you, little one, are extra special. From the day we found out about you, you have been a daily reminder of God's faithfulness. His grace. His promise to bring beauty from ashes and gladness instead of mourning.
I remember the day i drove myself back to the high-risk pregnancy clinic. My heart was still, quiet, pondering the emotions running through my mind. Was it too good to be true? Another little person to welcome into our family? Or would we know the pain of loss again. Up to that point, we were 3 for 7. Seven babies conceived-three surviving to draw breath apart from me. For us, the Lord stores up lots of prayer support before our babies are even born. And so we begin to pray for life. For your life. I was studying Romans, and the verse that jumped out to me was Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." I claimed it over and over.
The weekly doctors visits showed continued growth and as the Lord knit you together in my womb, you knit yourself in my heart. Daddy and I were excited to welcome either a baby boy or girl. But in our hearts, we hoped for a son. I'll never forget the first ultrasound picture of you...you were like 7 weeks gestational age. Your dad was striking up conversation with a hopeful grandmother in the waiting room of the doctors office. After seeing your little heart beat for the first time, we were over the moon. Dad was so excited he almost left one of the 20 pictures on the table in the waiting area. As we were leaving, the expectant grandmother said almost prophetically,"don't forget the picture of your son!" Our hearts smiled.

We haven't stopped smiling.
Your brother and sister were ecstatic about your upcoming arrival. We found out you were a boy on Jeremiah's first day of kindergarten. We went out to eat at Wings and came home to surprise them with the news. Jeremiah hoped for a brother. Ellie hoped for a sister to name Sally. And Saddler, well, Saddler just really really wanted a dog. (But no worries! She now loves you soo much that she wants to marry you.) Joy. Pure joy was what we felt at the news we would have a son. I cried tears of happiness and your brother and sisters cheered.

The days flew by and the time drew near for you to come. Your due date was January 8-same as your big sister's. But like her, we didn't think you'd make it til then. Against medical advice, we decided to celebrate Christmas in Guntersville. (The dr. told me not to go without towels and a bulb syringe b/c I'd never make it to a hospital) We prayed you'd hold out at little longer. We held our breath until we reached Birmingham city limits on the evening of the 26th. You would know- at midnight, my water broke and you were on your way. Milma and Aunt Tegan hurried down to be with us and we heard your sweet cry at 6:43 a.m. Long night. Lots of laughter and tears. And the sweetest bundle of joy was placed in my arms. Everyone was thrilled.

Judson Simeon. Quite a namesake! Judson-coming from my favorite missionary Adnirom Judson. And Simeon-a biblical name inspired by the righteous and devout man of faith whose eyes longed to see the Messiah. Thus your name embodied our prayer for you...for your heart to desire to bring the hope of the gospel to the ends of the earth; and like Simeon in Luke 2, that your eyes would long to see Jesus.

The doctors and nurses were great at the hospital! They would come visit our room just to laugh at the chaos of our little big family! Your brother and sisters were entertainment for the entire labor and delivery floor and it was very hard for Ellie to go home without you that night. But we needed a little more time. On the evening before we were to be discharged, you didn't eat well and your little body temp kept dropping. As usual, we opted to let you have a slumber party in the nursery so we could rest and that turned out to be providential. A little after midnight the nurses ran in our rooms, turned on the lights and urged us to quickly get dressed. You were stripped down and in a transport cart. You had stopped breathing and your little heart had stopped. Confused and exhausted, we rushed to the NICU. And never in my life have I felt so incredibly helpless. I can still hardly look at the pics of you with needles and wires and not cry! It was the scariest night of my life. We sat vigil by your "pod" stroking your little head and hoping for the chance to hold you in our arms. I think I wore a hole in the carpet by your bed rocking and praying....rocking and singing....rocking and reading God's word to you. I cried. A lot. Especially when Jeremiah would pray for you "to not die" and beg for you to be healed and for your little heart to strengthen. Hours turned to days and the days seemed to last a week and finally, on January 5th we brought you home!! Turned out you had really bad reflux and it was easy to treat. You came home hooked up to a machine that monitored your heart rate and breathing and although all the beeps drove us crazy, we were thankful nonetheless! You came home surrounded by love and no one could get enough of you! Ellie was like another little momma and jeremiah would hold you and tell you all that he was going to teach you. So sweet!


When you were 8 weeks old,we moved to a new house. Aghhh! You were a champ! You were such a good eater and slept great. You stayed in your bassinet right beside my bed until you were almost 6 months old....my friend Misty joked that you were gonna sit up and walk right out of there one day.BUT. It didn't seem to bother you much. You had no real schedule....ballet and and baseball, soccer and swimming lessons...always on the go. So much for nap times and room times and all those other "times" a fit mother might offer her child. But I believe you're better for it! You have no milestones recorded in a book and I don't have a clue when you ate your first foods or sat up or rolled over. As for your favorite toys...you really like the water bottles in the pantry and you love to climb in the dishwasher. Toilet paper provides endless fun for you and crayons make great teething props. You have no age appropriate toys and seem blissfully happy anyhow.

I do remember that I nursed you for the last time over thanksgiving and I cried. And the next day, you took your first steps. You won't keep shoes on your feet to save your life and I love kissing your chubby toes. My favorite time with you is rocking you before your nap or before bedtime. If I sing, you clap and sign "more". God love you! And you bestow wet kisses on us all. Yes, Jud, your first year of life has been a delight. You have brought new life and hope and joy to us all. I can't believe its been a year. ...Well, actually like 13months. (and we still haven't given you a party) Oh well. Happy Late Birthday Jud-Bud! You are such a gift to us!

We love you dearly!