a new year

"And He is before all things and in Him all things hold together....."        ~Colossians 1:17


HE. The one made flesh and who dwelt among us.

HE. The one by whom all things were created, in heaven and on earth.

HE. The one whom was driven by His love to be torn from His Father because He took on my sin-my punishment....

HE IS THE ONE WHO IS BEFORE THIS YEAR AND WHO HOLDS ALL THINGS  IN THIS YEAR.

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     I often think I am the only one on earth who has anxiety about a new year. As people cheer and say farewell to the old while waiting with excitement for the new, I fret and question and fear what the New Year holds. Will this be the year that __________________ happens. Will this be the year I lose someone dear? Will this be the year that __________________ comes.  The Uncertainties. The Unknown. The Future. And my feeble faith is revealed.

I am exposed.  Did I honestly think He could not see what I'd been so desperately trying to hide? The lack of trust in His goodness, in His character.

Do I really think that if it's not voiced, its not there? He, who is all seeing, all knowing, ever present....He has seen. He has known long before I did.

And He is still here. Still present in the midst of muck. He does not shy away from the filth and darkness in my heart. Instead- as He was birthed into a stinky, dirty place,-so does He enter the stench of my heart. He does not shriek away in disgust. He stays and remains and HE holds me together.

This year I pray that I will cling to Him. That I will still myself to listen to His voice. That I will know what it is to abide in HIM and truly believe that He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ask or imagine. This year.

~Heather